My Phone is Always on Silent. Here is Why

Pulling my thoughts away from their train of pursuit has always been a bit of an uphill battle; I pride myself on deep focus, and even though technology has disrupted that for most people, I have found a way to maintain that tranquillity amidst chaos. For me, it’s as simple as pointing to my pocket where my phone resides, forever shrouded in a veil of silence.

Imagine you’re midway through a binge-watch of your favorite shows on your only day off. The plot is just unfolding, that character you’re really invested in is at a crossroads about to make some life or death decision. The suspense, the anticipation is at its peak. Suddenly, out of nowhere, your neighbor cranks up the volume on his electric guitar, smashing through your favorite moment with what he thinks is music. That’s exactly how it feels when I get a phone notification in the middle of a weekend especially.

It’s not just the interruption that grates on me. It’s the expectation that comes with it, a “respond immediately” tag attached invisibly to each ping. The self-doubt caused by not replying in time. The silent mode on my phone is my own way of saying, “I’ll respond, but at my own pace.” It’s my little stance of rebellion in a world that’s becoming increasingly ‘always-on’. It may sound trivial, but trust me, once you experience the bliss of an undisturbed day, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

This silence that I have so lovingly bestowed upon my device isn’t done out of malice towards technology or people that might be trying to reach me. Rather, it’s more akin to putting on a soft, calming light instead of a brightly lit chandelier when you’re in search of serenity and peace. And more often than we care to admit, we do seek that quietude amidst our fast-paced lives.

We often relate the incessant sound of notifications to the palpable anxiety they induce. The expectation that each ping commands, that immediate reaction it demands, can be draining. And it feels like a perpetual cycle — the more you cater to it, the more it consumes you. My silent phone is the physical representation of my resistance to that cycle, a stand against the norm that prioritizes immediate response over thoughtful interactions.

But don’t mistake my action for complete detachment. It does not mean I disregard all communications altogether. After all, technology is not our enemy, it’s our tool. And just as we control our tools, not the other way round, I engage with my smartphone on my own terms.

I frequently check my phone and respond to messages or calls promptly but when I choose to. This might sound impractical, or even irresponsible to some; perhaps our reliance on these artificially created urgencies is greater than we realize, or perhaps, we have unknowingly wired ourselves to these immediate gratifications.

Regardless of what we might believe, there’s merit in reflecting upon our patterns of smartphone use, how it affects our stress levels, our focus, our relationships. Perhaps the silent mode won’t work for everyone, and that’s okay. The question lies not in finding a one-size-fits-all remedy, but in finding conscious and empathetic ways of engaging with our technology. Can we, then, evaluate our actions and reactions without the constant influence of externally induced urgencies?

So as I set my phone back on its cushion of silence after sharing these thoughts, I also send an invitation your way. Feel free to pick it up, or leave it be. Either way, remember that your phone is yours to control, and not the other way round.

Real-Life Interruptions: A Sneak Peek

So, let me paint a picture for you. I remember this one time when I was fully absorbed in preparing an important presentation. I was in the zone, everything was coming together pretty much the way I wanted — it was one of those rare moments of smooth sailing. Suddenly, my phone buzzed, disrupting my train of thought. You might think, “Oh It’s probably something important.” Well, guess what! It was an app notification tempting me to check out latest offers on a shopping site. Now, what was a smooth sailing creative spree got derailed by enticing discounts on shoes I didn’t even need.

Believe me, it’s not just about work. Remember those cherished weekends when you finally get some alone time, probably with your beloved cup of coffee and your latest thriller? Imagine being jerked out of the gripping suspense because your phone wants you to check out a funny cat meme. Spoilers: it wasn’t that funny.

The Outsider’s Gaze: Perception vs. Reality

Now, I get that from the outside my approach might look a little odd, maybe even a tinge anti-social to some. I’ve had friends jokingly accuse me of living like a remote mountain hermit, unavailable and disconnected, maintaining a Zen-like aloofness with my perpetually silent phone. So, here’s where I’d like to clear the air.

Being on silent mode doesn’t equate to being unavailable. It’s not about detaching from the people or being aloof, it’s about detaching from incessant, unnecessary interruptions. It’s about creating healthy boundaries and being able to focus on what’s in front of me. Be it a face-to-face conversation with my friend, a deadline at work, or even a much-needed downtime with Netflix. Remember, it’s about choosing to interact when I am fully present and not being yanked out irresistibly every time the device in my pocket decides to throw a whim.

The Long Game: Perks of the Silent Mode

Over time, I’ve noticed a shift, subtle yet noticeable, since I started silencing my phone-like creating more room for calmness and less for digital chaos. Here are the genuine long-term benefits I experienced:

• Increased Productivity: Uninterrupted focus equals higher work productivity. Without the constant pings, I was able to pay more attention to my projects and tasks because my mind wasn’t continuously bouncing between my work and my device.
• Better Mood: Less noise led to a less cluttered mind, and as a surprise side effect, an overall better mood throughout my day.
• Enhanced Focus: Concentration improved, conversations felt more enriching (both in-person and virtual), and reading or watching something was much more immersive.
• Improved Rest: With no risk of unexpected sound blasts, evenings felt genuinely relaxing, and nights went undisturbed, aiding a more refreshing, recharging sleep.

“Silence Is Golden”: Tips to Try

So, convinced and eager to dive into the tranquil world of silent phones? Just in case, here are a few tips to quell any lingering hesitations:

• Personalize Priority/Do Not Disturb settings: Not all notifications are created equal. Most phones have settings to allow calls or messages from specific contacts (like family) to come through even during silent or DND mode.
• Consistent Check-In Times: Set specific times at regular intervals to check your phone throughout the day. This system satisfies the subconscious itch to look at your device and ensures you don’t miss anything critical.
• Communicate your status: Let your friends, family, and colleagues know about your new phone routine. Clear communication minimizes the risk of any misunderstanding about your response times.

Remember, the goal isn’t to cut off communication, but to control when and how you communicate. Fear not, with these handy tips, your transition to the quieter side of life should be pretty seamless!

Originally published at https://nimbleotter.com on November 21, 2023.